The Golden Rule Fails

We all know the golden rule; it’s taught to us at a very young age. It’s quite simple; the idea is to do onto others as you would want them to do to you. It makes sense in right? Well, sort of. In theory it does, but recently I’ve come to believe it is actually failing us, and failing society as a whole. Here is my thinking on it.

As human beings, we have an innate desire to feel good inside. Feeling good is relative though; each person wants and needs something different to feel good. Some people like to be praised, some people like to be loved, some people want to be left alone, while others want attention and so on. There are literally infinite permutations of factors that make up the whole of how people want to be treated. So if that’s true, then we should know that how you want to be treated is not necessarily how your wife, brother, father, co-worker, etc. wants to be treated. Think about that.

So the irony is that one of the exact qualities the golden rule tries to abolish, selfishness, is the exact behavior it creates. Let me explain. So if I’m egocentric enough to assume that if I treat others how I want to be treated, then they’ll treat me that way. In other words, “my way is the best effing way, you should love my way so I’m going to treat you my way and I expect that you treat me that way”. It’s totally selfish thinking and it totally fails. If everyone follows the golden rule, then people aren’t going to just treat you how you want to be treated they’re going to treat you the way they want to be treated. Ironically it not only doesn’t suit you, it probably makes you mad.

I think the spirit of this rule is still true, it basically says “don’t be a dick”, and that’s a good rule. But if you take the rule literally, which I think human beings have subconsciously started to do, then you’re going to end up pretty darn thwarted and at best, you’ll annoy the people you love. It’s a recipe for hate and resentment. So maybe it’s time to re-think the golden rule eh?